I work in a hospital. I answer the phones when people have issues with our computerized charting system. I have weathered some pretty awful people doing this job: the haters, the I-can'ts, the this-is-so-stupids, the you-don't-know-what-you're-talking-abouts.... you get the picture.
I realize now, that the past 18 months were just to prepare me for today.
Today was the day that I walked my computer illiterate parents through the process of printing out their cruise documents, boarding passes, and luggage tags. Over the phone.
No big deal, you're thinking? Well, maybe not if you know what the phrases: 'browser window,' 'search engine,' 'log in box,' 'password,' 'x-to-close' and 'printer icon' mean. Picture in your head having to be dually logged in and attempting to give verbal directions to two people who have a brand new computer and do not know how to get on the Internet.
Yes, let's get ONLINE first. Oh, you say you don't know how to get online? Okay. Deep breath. Let's start at the beginning. Oh. My. God.
The saving grace after 90 minutes of deep breathing, gut wrenching, face making, gun in my mouth pantomiming, was the sound of the printer working in the background and this final statement: "Oh, you're such and expert! How would we have done this without you! Thank you!"
It's only noon, but believe me, I need a cocktail.