This is NOT my work. But I wish it was, because it's all so true! Too good not to pass on. (Italics are my comments.) Enjoy!
1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still do not know what time it is.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. (Um ya!)
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (I don't fold them. I wad them up and shove them in my linen closet, whose doors don't even close all the way. No apologies. In my opinion, there is no damn way to have an organized linen closet.)
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (I disagree. I think it's way more fun to try to figure out who offed themselves vs. who died of AIDS.)
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories. (No shit!! I need to blog about the Great Raccoon Caper.)
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. (Worse yet when it says: "Do you want to revert to the originally saved copy of ______?" Learned that the hard way when I lost 9 pages of test notes last semester. Grrr!)
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (I would NEVER do this, because that would be RUDE.) (Where's that sarcasm font again??!)
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (Why?? Everything looks like a giant ice block anyway, and it's a grab bag treasure chest in there. Having a light would be of no use to me unless I defrosted the damn thing.)
16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (is there a LINE?)
18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? (I do this ALL the time!! In fact, my sister told me recently: BRING YOUR GOOD EAR OVER HERE!! She's totally right. I'm deaf as a post.)
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! (This warms my heart on the rare occasion that it happens. See my post entitled: Is that a cop behind those blackberries?)
20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. (I used to believe this was true, when I could still fit into a decent pair of jeans, until one time I walked around all day thinking, God in Heaven, what is that SMELL?? Yup, the jeans. Gross.)
21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. (Amen.)
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